Autobahn facts

March 8, 2015
Yes, despite the fact that

German AutobahnSurviving the German Autobahn. The whole world knows it, you know it, I know it: if you’re not speeding like a mad-man on the German Autobahn you shouldn’t even be there in the first place. But other than testing your Porsche, BMW or Benz, there are a few facts that you need to know before going on the highways to hell.

As a Midwest-born “Ami” (This is what Germans call Americans in Germany). Either you’re on the road or getting gas at the gas station that offers everything you need, from coffee to nachos. And rest areas are basically non-existent: and boring. Please erase this norm for your Germany trip. In Germany you will find a rest area including gas station every 20-30 miles. And with the whole nine yards… Including pic-nic benches, camping semi-truck drivers, doggy do-do areas and bathrooms. Speaking of bathrooms….

Generally speaking, there is nothing you can do about needing to go to the bathroom. And that is why going to the bathroom is a darn human right. Not in Germany. That is why if you are on the Autobahn, you either need change or a change of pants. It costs on average fifty to seventy-five cents to do 1, 2 or both for all they care. And if you still think it’s your human right to do your duties for free, you will then need a change of pants… and probably new socks too.

Assuming that the Euro-Dollar course would be 1-1, the gas prices in the western parts of Germany would only be two times higher than the prices in the Midwest, U.S.A. Instead of paying around $2.50, get ready to fork over more than 5 dollars a gallon. So who’s ready to test their car on the Autobahn? I would recommend using the credit card… who keeps a calculator in their pocket anyways?

Health insurance is a great asset to have. Seatbelts are wonderful as well. Seatbelts are obligatory when traveling both in the Midwest and Germany. But as we all know, accidents do happen. And when traveling on the German Autobahn with your 120mph, there is not much your health insurance can do, nor your seatbelt at those kinds of speeds. All you can ask for is a good priest and a clean white sheet. Or just be attentive, don’t drink and drive, and just because there are no speed limits, doesn’t mean you need to test the limits.

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